Sometimes…I cannot sleep
I have known you for many years,
I watched you learn to walk,
And run, and talk, and grow
I was there the day you took your vows, and cemented them in water.
I watched you learn and explore the world around you
And then, I watched it eat away at the fabric of your soul.
Little by little, day by day, I saw you exchange the truth of the Creator for the lie of the created.
Except, I didn’t see it. You see, it happened so gradually,
That only when your life began to repudiate those vows did I notice
For that I am sorry.
To this day, I do not know that I could have done anything differently, except pray more.
Now, I watch you, a world changer, change your world.
There are many places of safety outside my small world,
Where you can rest secure in the hand of the Creator, and in your place as the adopted child of the King,
But you don’t.
I watch you grasp at straws
Try to find meaning in busyness
Purpose in accomplishments
And I pray. On mornings like this when I cannot sleep
Because your eternal destiny burdens my heart, and makes me feel as though I cannot change the world.
I learn to trust
That in His time, His hand would change your heart.
That you would see the emptiness of chasing after the wind
And see that the only place of fulfillment is in a life lived when He is Lord of all of life.
And I pray too
That God would demonstrate his infinite mercy by giving you the time to see this too
So that we can spend an eternity together.
This is my prayer, the cry of my heart.